You are swimming deep in the sea of blossoming love. No imperfections in sight. You lose touch with your friends because you are too busy building a life with your one true love. So much love and joy. One look in his eyes and whatever storms are brewing inside you are ordered to calmness. He fills your stomach with butterflies. Your heart damn near explodes when he smiles at you or says your name with that ‘come hither’ look in his eyes.

This man is perfect for you. He does not get freaked out when you talk about your future children. In fact, he encourages it and even chimes in with name ideas. You could not imagine yourself spending your life with another man. No one is more well suited to be the father of your children.

After losing touch with your friends, things start to go awry. You spent so much time at his house but now he keeps coming up with excuses for you to stay at yours. He can barely get it up for you anymore. When he does it lasts less than it takes for you to start enjoying yourself. He misses your calls. Texts go unanswered for hours on end.

WHAT DID YOU DO?

Girls are wired to fix things. They are wired to find the root of the problem and weed it out. Therefore, you blame yourself. You take stock of the things you did and/or said in the last few weeks that might have turned him off of you. Is the devil getting in the way of your happiness? Have you not prayed enough for your future? He wants to see if you will fight for him before he suggests the next step, like an idiot you think.

What follows is a series of embarrassing events, on your part. You show up to his office for an impromptu lunch which he turns down because he is ‘swamped’. You find an apartment near his place. Maybe things are falling apart because you do not live close to him. Even then he still does not find the time to drop by. When he does, it is only long enough for him to eat and use you for sub-par sex. In the weeks that follow, another girl will surface on his social media with pictures of them kissing under umbrellas. You will camp on his timeline to witness he and the new girl dedicate erotic songs to each other. He will not even be creative enough to use different pet names for her.

STOP!

Darling beautiful girl, you did nothing wrong. You have outlived your usefulness. First of all, get rid of that ugly sweater you have been wearing because you are just too sad to put in any effort. Dress up and get out there. Get over him by getting under someone else if you have to. You will almost always have to.

In three months, you will not remember what his face looks like. Your one true love would not make you jump through hoops, put that in your pipe and smoke it.