My concern and dream is to be at peace. The days yet to come, of which are uncertain, should not dismantle the exertion of this dream.
I thoroughly comprehend the lability of this world. It’s apt to fluctuate.
Infinite wheels of time are greatly agitated to unending varying moments. With that I worry.
Tomorrow is different from today and yesterday. It’s new. It carries additional choices and moments. Reformed it is. Perhaps mischievous, but consequences come along. Those that lie in the choices of here and now, or days of the past. We are all troubled with that. Fear of the unknown.
It proves the vulnerability of our course of actions, and the path we choose to follow. Ever in chaos, because a decision for something, is definitely against another.
Never knowing what really lies in tomorrow, other than the habit of hoping, and the expected sequential events. Clinging instinctively to impulse, we battle nature and its course.
I’m yet to understand life and how we to relate with those around me. I’m yet to give a try, and fall in love without awe. Without anticipating with fear.
For long I have been enslaved, and inspired with fear. Fear of loss, pain, heart breaks and failure.
I have made my way through hell. I still feel the blazing heat of the eternal fire cutting right through my skin. Like a festering wound, I sink deep in darkness and torture. The path around me is blackened, and I’m lost through time. Not even a tiny bit of hope is left for my raptured soul to slightly extinguish its suffering.
Like a vampire, these dark moments have drained me of light. I can feel the walls of hell tightening around me, and suppressing me by smothering. This maze of suffering seems to take hold of me. My heart beats to no rhythm. It has lost its course; wandering in a deadly shark infested ocean.
I have persistently gambled with my soul and heart, hoping I would triumph. But with the constant conclusive vain, my entire soul has been infested with fear. Every step seems to be chaos. Every moment is apparently disaster. Perhaps my future is already in place.
Nevertheless, I have been looking for a place that I will rather be. I have been searching for peace in this lonely destiny of mine. Craving for the calm shores and relief to this darkness. Seeking light at the end of this tunnel. Trying hard not to let go of this precarious rope which is the only thing pulling me out of the darkness.
If this is my fate though, then I will hold my breath, and swallow what is left of me.
But if it’s a passage, or an initiation to a replenished world, then I’ll hold on a little longer. I’ll hold on to get back home. Once again to feel love, and be free from all this darkness.
I seek regeneration. I seek love and peace.