Most people are not sorry for the wrong they have done because when they do, then the truth will dwell unto them that they really wronged you.
Don’t blame him that he couldn’t say sorry. He was rude, horrible and selfish. That’s just what you feel, contrary to what he thinks of himself.
Maybe he is happy that he is over it and he doesn’t care that he hurt you in any way. Maybe he is egoistic and cannot dwell in the fact that he alone, steered to the indifference between you two. Maybe he is just so sad about it that his gut for accepting his wrong doing and apologizing, is just too much for him.
You will never know what he really feels inside unless he tells you what motivated him to do what he did. I know this cannot do away with the worst he has made to befall you. I completely comprehend that.
However , if you cannot make peace with your heart, neither can you forget how bad he hurt you.
Instead of wailing in regrets while staring at the broken pieces waiting for him to fix them, or rather pick them up with his humbleness, just strengthen up and collect them by yourself. You don’t have to wait for his return
He might be gone forever, never to look back. He might have made up his mind that it’s over between you two.
Dont stress yourself caressing the pieces. Instead, put the back to their rightful place. They definitely can’t be whole at once, but through acceptance and the love you have for yourself, all will be alright. All will be as peaceful and happy as it was before he came into your life.
My cry to you is that you cease being angry at him. Anger is motivator for pure evil. You don’t have to be hard on yourself that it consumes you so much. Even when you see him it feels like wounds have been reopened and you burn with fury for what he had done to you.
Let go of that feeling that makes you angry when you see him. You don’t have to feel unattached from this great world.
You don’t have to crush yourself to the ground just because at first he had a crush on you, and now he has crashed you into pieces.
Here is what you should squeeze to get into your head; not everyone is a saint ( and this shouldn’t fuel you to be monstrous by being angry at him). But you can be one of the rare saints that are left, and let go of the intense anger within you.
People are full of disappointments, but that shouldn’t worry you. Because at some point, whether you like not or not, you will wrong someone. You will annoy someone so much and that person would be angry at you.
If you are a good person, you will apologize, and if you don’t, it doesn’t make you a bad person either. Because then, you will have your valid reasons for not apologizing.
So just like him its the same thing. Within him lies the reason for not apologizing. Don’t pester him to explain himself why he doesn’t seem to bother himself for apologizing. Don’t wait for him to apologize, because he might hurt you more, and escalate your anger by saying that he doesn’t care.
Don’t care when he doesn’t care, because when you do, you’ll only tear yourself into pieces worse than he did to you.